To that guy who

And my problem is that I cannot understand all his actions, then first says “look for another”, then “wait for me”. I myself miss him, on the one hand I want to be with him (I just love him, we made plans for the future, I wanted to always be together), and on the other hand I do not want to be with him, it’s hard to return to that guy who is who He beat me, and even now meets another.